Imminent 2005....

...and I feel called upon to say something wise and profound. It isn't forthcoming though, so please forgive me.

I see personal development as an ongoing process though, so tend to resolve things as I go along. I've done OK at my 2004 resolution to write more though - I think I can keep it up.

Happy 2005 y'all!

My new car. Ish. And don't take the mickey - I think its great. Its called the Millenium Falcon as himself thinks the ramp on the back looks like the one on the other Millenium Falcon
 

How I look in my new car. For those who aren't so well acquainted with The Flintstones - Dino's head is not only sticking out the top, but his feet are running along the bottom... 

Cars.. in all seriousness....

...one reason I didn't post more before Christmas is because I was tied up with buying a new car. And as I blog about doing the right thing and so on - it didn't seem to be something I could avoid writing about.

I'm not all that comfortable with us having two cars. I genuinely think that were I not a wheelie (the technical term, don'tcha know) we wouldn't have two cars. As things stand - we don't think we can make it work. Partly because wheelchair accessible transport is not exactly reliable round here, and partly because The Doctor needs to be able to dig me out of the doodoo when things go wrong. Even with the best laid plans at least once or twice a year he has to come - quickly - and sort me out.

I'm a proper crip me. Not only do I use a wheelchair - I use a big wheelchair and stay in it in the car. So its hard to make too many economies of size or scale. The new van does have a smaller engine than my old one, and I chose the model with the lowest CO2 emissions. Its new enough to hopefully be reliable and reasonably efficient, yet not brand new. I occassionally wake up in the middle of the night and wonder whether it would be better to not have my vehicle and to use public transport and just protest its inacecssibility. I wonder whether I'm a wuss for not using the Park and Ride bus (the one accessible bus route in Birdyville) on work days, even though the bus stop is a 20 minute walk (depending on my PA's legs) away. I defend my actions by thinking of all the people who drive shorter distances more frequently than I do. But I might be making excuses.

Hilarity ensued...

...at Christmas as for once everyone agreed to play Trivial Pursuit with me. Never a good move. Politically, I'm a pacifist. When faced with a little plastic wheel and wedges I'm Attila the Answertastic. So we play games, everyone refuses to play games with me for a while, then they forget.....

Two great comedy answers though:

Q. Who beat Muhammed Ali in his final fight?

A. George Foreman?

and

Q. What was the second Star Wars prequel?

A. Revenge of the Druids...

I liked the first one best - I think they might be an age linked funny...

Christmas....

...My lovely husband bought me amazing presents for Krimmer, as my stepmother has taken to calling it. He bought them from here and here, which I think tells you all you need to know about my personality. I also got lots of other lovely stuff - am a lucky little birdychirp.

And one of them was this. So I'll apologise now for not being around.

My heart is breaking...

... every time I switch on the news or my computer when I read about the catastrophe in Asia and Africa. My planned posts about Christmas, shopping and general comedy don't seem quite appropriate. I wish I was able to write something articulate and moving in response. Words are failing me currently - but Deirdre and Lynn have good stuff to say. Read their posts, and if you can give - they also mention links for donations of money. If not money - then whatever you do - praying - ranting - or good old positive thoughts I would have thought would be gratefully recieved.

Where oh where have I been?..

...well the great idea I had of putting up photos of all the things I've been up to has ground unceremonially to a halt due to the temporary incapacity of The Doctors digital camera.

So... in place of that.... This week I have mostly been preparing for Christmas, amazingly enough. I think I'm all ready now - although have to change one of The Doctors pressies as I accidentally got it in the girly flavour. Almost, but not quite as bad as the time I sprayed him with Eternity for women (thinking it was Eternity for men) and he had to wander all round Brighton smelling like a girl. A sophisticated, glamorous girl, but I don't think it was much consolation at the time.

Have a happy time over the next few days - whatever your family traditions, and a wonderful joyful 2005!

On the up...

...Things are looking up - Malcolm the Best Mechanic in the World has fixed the exhaust on my van, for free and I've almost written all my Christmas cards.

Am getting there...

Gaaaaaah!

At work, after a meeting regarding fire evacuation and disabled people, I was approached by someone from the Birdyville Museum. She asked me if I'd come to a party come training event where disabled people would take groups of frontline staff around the museum. I really like the museum and thought this sounded like fun.

So dates etc were agreed and she then said;

Of course this is like training, only better as staff get to see the problems.

To which I was a bit lost for words. Which is unusual for me.

I was speechless because;

a) it isn't better than training. All an event like the one above will do is make the staff realise the barriers that specific disabled people have when visiting the museum. So if they are going round with a visually impaired person they could easily end up thinking that ALL people with visual impairments would have the same problem
b) I did their training. Twice. And got great feedback from those attending.

Missing mojo

..I seem to be a bit mojo-lite at present. Do ask me questions though - I'll answer any to some degree or other.

Normal service will I hope be resumed when

a) Christmas is organised
b) I finish work and catch up on sleep....

Domestic bliss... 2

On looking over my shoulder at my work email address book

HIM - You've got Chris Lowe in your address book

ME - Yes sweetheart. Its not the real Chris Lowe though

HIM - I know (said very slowly) Its my new boss.

Domestic bliss... 1

On going out last night,

ME - Argh! Need a haircut. Do I look dreadful?

HIM - No, you look lovely. I've always thought King Charles Spaniels were cute.

ME - Gaaaaaaaaah

Boys and toys..

... it seems that The Doctors Secret Santa has bought him another shooting device. To call it a gun is somewhat excessive - it looks like a stapler and shoots rubber rings. Plus, to The Doctor's enormous joy, it makes machine gun noises.

So, to his Secret Santa, on the wildest off chance that you are reading this. Why, why do you hate me? Fortunately - for me - it doesn't work (sorry love)

Secondly was it you who got him the sucker gun (looks like a water pistol, but shoots little plastic tubes with suckers on the end) for a wedding present. The look of joy on his face as he leapt into the house that night, as I sat, hepped up on copydex, elbow deep in glitter, assembling orders of ceremony apparently was priceless. The look on my face, particularly when he discovered the suckers stuck well to the plastic backing on my wheelchair was somewhat less appealling. He was lucky I'd made the stationary...

blogrolling...

..I was a bit lacking in inspiration today so toddled over to blogliners for a bit of help. Today it asks,

So many wonderful blogs, so little time. How do you manage visits to your ever-growing list of favorites?

Well I try to read all of mine at least every other day. I work my way through the list
(either top to bottom or bottom to top) and comment where I can. I add to my list fairly regularly, and remove those who have moved on to less interesting things.

Anyone got any better tips?

'Tis the Season

'Tis the Season is a very cute Christmassy site - if you like that sort of thing....

Normal...

..Now normal isn't a word I like to use very often. I do like to embrace variety - but its amazing how easy it is to think of some things as 'normal' - or rather 'standard'. 'Average', perhaps is a better word.

So I asked my colleague, who's a lover of 'nice' things about where to get good crackers today, and she made one or two suggestions. I said I was thinking of going up to £20 - which is much more than I'd usually spend, but its our first married Christmas at home, and we're entertaining The Doctors parents. She showed me the ones her family have. From Fortnum and Mason.

At £95.

For six.

I had no idea it was even possible to get crackers for £95.

Later, I was wrapping a couple of presents and ask Uncommunicative Temp PA to cut some paper. To cut down the paper, as I didn't want loads of layers on as a) papers expensive and b) its a waste - actually that's the same reason. She looked at me like I was insane. Why would you use more than you need? I occasionally have generous borders but....

Never assume, I guess the answer is...

Sarcasm may be...

... the lowest form of wit but these had me and The Doctor laughing like a drain in bed last night. I feared for the sheets, I really did.

So what do we think? Slightly unfair? (clearly not unfair at all in the case of U2) Any notable ommissions?

Books...

... Sorry for the extended silence - my mother has been here. She's a bit of an eccentric - and likes nothing more than to thrash me at scrabble a few times each visit. I tend to find that takes all the words out of me. I used to be a dreadful loser - I'm a bit better now I think but sadly out of practice as my friends fall into two camps regarding me and games. They either remember my game playing as a child and avoid the issue or I'm too embarrassed to ask them just in case I forget myself and slam a door when I lose....

I seem to have had dreadful taste in books lately. There's a literary theory isn't there that there's only seven stories and all books are a version thereof? I seem to have been plunged into the dull, tedious and overly self reverential types. One real joy though - Clare Morralls 'Astonishing Splashes of Colour' - possibly more appealing to a female readership but definitely not chicklit. Am seeking literary solace in the Dark Materials trilogy.

And if you haven't read those, then please, turn off your computer and read them now.

Reading recommendations welcomed. Probably best I don't offer any though...

Rough Guide to a Better World

Rough Guide to a Better World

Via Starbuck who manages to make it display with a little picture - a skill which as you can see from my wives of Henry VIII's post, I don't quite have yet....

The best picnic in the world ever...

In email correspondance with a blogging buddy, it occurred to me that they and you may think that I was being deliberately obtuse regarding my weekend away location - instead I'm actually just dreadful at geography.

So - we stay just in between the Lakes and Dales - about 6 miles from Kirby Lonsdale, home of Churchmouse Cheeses - where we bought the best picnic in the world. Poppy sead crackers, oat crackers, Wiltshire hard blue cheese, appledore cheese, a huge pile of assorted olives, and some chilli and cumin salami.

Amazing. And you can buy online!

Good things..

...some days I don't really get much of a chance to do Good or Right things. I hope on those days that this doesn't mean I do wrong things or bad things, but sometimes things just seem less righteous than others.

Today I have been pottering around at home while we had double glazing fitted - guttering tomorrow. Plus another new PA - so far so good. I want to write about using PA's, and am trying to find the words to do so without sounding self pitying or whatever. I did worry about the 'rightness' of having double glazing fitted - but decided that the benefits of energy conservation would outweigh the environmental issues of the double glazing. Plus we used a local firm rather than a big national - I think this is the best thing to do as its supporting local business plus meaning we got to avoid the sales patter of the national firms.

My other grumpy moment was discovering that the outgoing PA had eaten none of the veg I'd left for her - so after throwing half of it in the compost bin I decided to experiment tonight and made a sort of vegetable crumble. It was a complete success - I thoroughly recommend sauteing a load of left over veggies with a bit of stock, some tinned butter beans, a whole load of dried herbs and garlic, topping it with some oats, some toasted sesame seeds (I would have used sunflower seeds ideally, but somehow keep buying sesame seeds) and some blue cheese and baking it in the oven for about 20 mins. I do love it when a plan comes together!

Which Wife of Henry VIII Are You?

Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?

Katherine Parr, apparently.

Katherine Parr spent nearly her whole life married to crotchety old men: Henry was the THIRD old fart she was forced to marry. Is it any wonder she turned to books and religion to occupy her time?

Katherine wasn't just smart, she was a tiny bit uppity, too: she almost got herself thrown in jail for arguing with His Royal Fatness about some theological issues.

After Henry croaked, Katherine dropped the prim and proper act and married Thomas Seymour, a dashing pirate-y kind of guy who was dumb as a post.

Which goes to show you that even bookworms know how to get it on.

I'm baaaackkkk....

..and I had a wonderful weekend mostly eating, sleeping, and sniggering at my two favourite ever pub names.

The Gamecock
The Craven Heifer

I know, I'm 12.....

Backsun...

...off to nearly the Lake District for the weekend - back midweek. I was going to write out the note Pooh leaves in 'Winnie the Pooh' in which he tells Piglet he'll be backsun, but I'm very tired and conscious of having to remember socks - as on our first trip to this particular cottage I forgot socks and had to wear The Doctors. One memorable morning we had four dirty pairs, one clean pair and three wet pairs. The Doctor put the clean pair on me - and he needed to dry a pair for him.

So I suggested the microwave.

Have you ever seen a sock combust?

I wasn't overly popular. Still The Doc told the story in his speech at our wedding - and in such a way that it made me look good.

Bless him.

Why oh why oh why...

are the England cricket team going to Zimbabwe ? Am I missing something here? Surely we shouldn't be implicitly supporting a leader who is doing so much damage to the population? Particularly when we like to do it ourselves.....

How Much Are You Worth?

Found this via Mal's blog. Apparently - I'm worth $2,027,725.94! How much are you worth?

I have no idea how....

Coffee?

...I don't drink a lot of coffee - maybe once or twice a week. Partly because coffee makes me a bit hyper - which is the last thing I need - and partly because I get hyper just choosing where to drink it. I'm a latte woman, and for the infrequency of drinking it it isn't worth getting the stuff to make it at home.

Here in Birdyville the coffee options are, well exactly the same as where you live, I'd imagine. Wherever that is in the world. We have Starbucks - great access, lots of friendly staff, and apparently making efforts to stop screwing up the world - but on the other hand, and this is big, its homogenous and driving all the other little coffee houses out. Costa Coffee I quite like now - even though customer service in the only branch I can get into is diabolical. I used to hate them because fair trade was another 10p - which just seemed ridiculous when the cheapest drink was £2. Just make them all a bit more expensive! So they did. I want to like Cafe Nero - smaller chain, a bit interesting and yummy food. But although I can get in to our branch, the counter height is actually above my head, which combined with the noise makes it impossible. The only independent choice I can get into here is in a church, and run by the church. I thought this was ok, even a Good Thing - even though I'm not a church goer - as I thought that money raised by a local church was a likely to be beneficial to the local community. 'Cept of course, it could be argued that the Christian church is the biggest multinational of all - with a lot of its parts not being a Good Thing.

The Doctor and I went to London to meet my sisters at the weekend - and people were really nice which I never expect in London. People are generally nice in Edinburgh, and often nice here, but I don't have good experiences in London so yesterday was a nice surprise. Even nicer was finding Progreso - a branch of a fair trade coffee shop started or part of Oxfam. Latte's a bit strong, but the organic fair trade caramel shortcake was to die for. I don't really know what the answer is - I used to try to use mainly local produce although I've been convinced - I think - that international trade is needed. It makes me uncomfortable that my latte, which I see as a pure indulgence, is produced from someone's suffering.

Six degrees of blogging...

... I came across Daddy, Pappa and Me via The Republic of T the other day - and not only is it an endearing read - the story of a gay couple and their adopting of their child, but they wrote this fantastic game;

1. write a link to where you read about the game
2. go back to your blog, click on any random link on your blogroll, perferably one you haven't read in a while.
3. then click on a link on their blogroll, one you haven't read before.
4. then do this 4 more times, clicking on a link on the next blog's blogroll
4a (if the next blog doesn't have a blog roll, go back and try again).
5. Then post the new link you found (no matter what you found :)
6. and trackback (if it exists) to the blog you read about this game on

Well I check all my blogroll fairly regularly - but here goes.... I'm going to start with Smitten, who takes me to Maura - who's blog you can change the colour of? How cool is that? I'm using a strategy where the next blog starts with the last letter of the blog I'm on - so that takes me to a.thousandwords.nu which is the first site I've ever seen with a .nu suffix - and has some amazing photos which I don't have time to look at properly before heading onto Apparently Nothing - no links starting with a 'u' - plus I get to hum the 80's hit 'Apparently Nothing' - and I will not be able to sleep as I can't remember who sang it, dammit.

From there I go to Hopelessly Devoted - to keep with the song theme. There are lots of amazing photos here - and not a lot of links. For my last link - I choose Flying Shark - more beautiful piccies although I wish I knew where they were taken. Although perhaps I'm not meant to and that's the point. I really like her A to Z page.

more on talking..

... Rhea and Deirdre have made some excellent comments on my post on language - thanks guys - and I felt I really wanted to talk more about some of these issues a bit more. So please humour me.

Rhea was saying " Mostly, if you use common sense and courtesy you will surely avoid offending people. In fact, I would be as bold as to say (correct me if I'm wrong) if I happened to refer to you as "disabled" as opposed to "a wheelchair user" but I otherwise treated you with courtesy and respect, you wouldn't be too offended? :o) (or shall I duck now?)"

Now Rhea is a friend from pre blogging days - and as such she'd have to try quite hard to offend me. I think that the issue really is in not thinking about it at all and not making any effort to be kind/thoughtful in the choice of language. I guess its all about context - if she was saying to Mr Rhea about meeting up with us something like 'Oh we can't meet there as Birdy is disabled' - no offence at all. 'Wheelchair user' is likely to make more sense if the issue is of access. If she was writing something for work - she'd ask me about the wording I'd imagine.

Deirdre made several other points - "If every one of us were constantly labelled with our disabilities for even one whole day, maybe the use of such terms would quickly fall out of favour" and "Or have I misread this whole thing? Does it help to have a disability described (& thus perhaps better understood) by others?"

I think she's right about both, actually. I use a big funky electric wheelchair all the time, and so there's no way of avoiding looking like a disabled person. You don't have to worry about telling anyone, as if they are uncomfortable you know straight away. I have mixed views, depending on the context about trying to make someone who seems uncomfortable comfortable with the situation. I think to being different if you have an excuse - i.e. if you are a disabled person is more acceptable than simply being different.

When I talk about disabled people I mean people who experience discrimination due to a perceived impairment - like Deirdre says, many of us have difficulties in one area or another - and if we were all referred to principally by our difficulties - whether with shyness, anxiety or something obvious like me it might well fall out of favour. We seem to be determined to define others by our differences rather than our commonality. I think this could explain a lot.

Deirdre also says - " Also, did you realise you don't have a disability in the blog world? As long as you can write & read, everyone's on an even footing out here in the ether... or whatever this stuff is... " which hadn't occurred to me - I love it when you guys make me think! That must be why I find the internet so liberating. Of course, frustratingly the internet is mostly not accessible to visually impaired people....

Thanks guys - I really appreciate you challenging me like this!

Things I have learnt today...

...even though I've only been up for about two hours....

..everything is better when you've had some sleep...

..Rachels organic raspberry yogurt isn't as nice as the rhubarb one, although it is nice...

.. gesturing at heaps of books, jewellery and CD's and saying that you are 'troubled by piles' is only funny if the person you are saying it to, doesn't actually have haemmorhoids..

Whoops.

November is the cruellest month..

..I'd love to know what other's writing processes are in the construction of their blog posts. I always just write as a stream of consciousness - and think my best posts are ones where I don't think about them for too long - and just go for it. Today was a bit of a struggle - but I determinedly posted as I want to keep the discipline going. Every November something horrible happens to The Doctor and I - and we're still reeling a bit from this year. One of The Doc's close friends has been suddenly very ill and as a consequence has had to have a very serious op. He's on the mend now, thank goodness, but its been horrendous and there will be consequences. Plus I have had a relief assistant who has had difficulties giving me the help I've needed so I've had to ask the agency to replace her before one of us gets hurt. I know its the sensible thing to do - and she's taken it very well despite my worrying. Still, at least this year I've not landed myself in hospital and no-one has died. I wish there was a way of stopping this happening - its not even though I thought about it in advance of this horrible week.

Bear with me - normal service will be resumed shortly!

Just to say..

I found this excellent article (scroll down a bit if you're short of time) about language and disability - a regular topic of discussion in my work. I'm not a fan of political correctness for the sake of it, and anyone using the phrase 'differently abled' within fifty feet of me, let alone about me should beware.

I do think though that changing language is a sign of changing understanding of issues. When I started my current job as an equalities trainer I felt very strongly that I shouldn't talk about language, because if I explained things properly then those participating (who are almost always voluntary participants and as a consequence in general enthusiastic and tuned in) would 'get it' automatically. I was soon disabused of this theory when I would still be questioned about language and phrasing during the sessions. I also found that in discussing language other helpful issues came out - such as in many situations lots of people from so called minority groups might have difficulty, or that in describing people as people with visual impairment rather than blind people can be helpful as it works as a reminder that very few people are actually completely unable to see, and most have some sight which is useful in the right environment.

I really do believe language matters. I don't think its something to worry about immensely - and it does vary between countries (even English speaking countries) and it will develop over time. When someone says that it shouldn't matter, I think that means they don't care. It isn't hard to find out what appropriate language might be - and taking a little care makes all the difference.

For what its worth - my general advice is - find out how someone wants to be described if you want to talk about an individual (wheelchair user, please) use the words disability and people in a general sentence - I prefer disabled people personally, but mostly avoid things beginning with 'the' or including 'handicapped' which is offensive to many.

Ta dah!

OK, think I've done it now - sorted out the blog that is - with everything showing as it should do in IE and firefox. Feedback welcome!

Plus I got tracked back. I really feel like I've arrived now.

No no no no no....

Now I never claimed to be an intellectual, but I do read a lot of books, particularly fairly trashy US crime fiction and I cannot believe how awful Trace by Patricia Cornwell was. Just dreadful - really pretentious writing - not enough plot - and this ongoing kind of paranoia in the story which must be reflected in the authors beliefs.

If you liked her early books - then leave this well alone. Remember her happy, for all our sakes...

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Under construction...

...OK, cos I want my blog to look real pretty I'm having a sort out. Please bear with me....

Stumped...

... sorry IE viewers I can't quite fathom out what the problem is. Was it fixed for a while?

May have to try a new template. But I love this one!

Look...

It's not just me - that nice man at the Guardian agrees with me...

Puddings..

... I'm sure you've noticed, I am a big lover of food. All sorts of food really, including but not exclusively sweet stuff.

One of the few things The Doctor and I disagree on is what constitutes a good pudding. There are areas of overlap - creme brulee, for example. Its not that we don't like the same things, more that we don't afford them the same ranking in our top fives. For example, I like apple pie - but I wouldn't put it in the top five, not even if I added cloves and cinnamon and raisins. He thinks that profiteroles are a bit dull. He'd eat them and enjoy them, but not put them in his top five. I think profiteroles are top five quality, although not quite as good as rhubarb crumble, which is evidence of some sort of divine influence in the universe. Perhaps desert is the key difference between genders?

Noooo....

Cyber-Satan has hung up his mousemat. Obviously I'm pleased he's a happy chappy, as suggested by his farewell post. But for me, at least, he'll leave a hole.

Unkymoods...

... I do like my little unkymoods person on my right side list - but I wish there were degrees of all the emotions. Because although I'm better - I'm still fairly tired...

Two questions...

As I'm finally feeling a bit better - I've tackled my emails... A friend who's doing a Master's in International Development asked me these questions....

1) What does the word 'development' mean to you from a personal point of view, in terms of your own personal development?

I think it means to improve and enhance. I always think for me its about moving forwards - not necessarily rejecting the past but just continuing on a journey. I think that continuing development is how to be happy, that staying still isn't really possible or desirable. I don't necessarily think of this as improvement - more as a new phase.

2) What does the word 'development' mean to you in terms of your country or in international terms or in terms of some country you know?

Whenever I think of development in this context I always think of improvement - perhaps as I'm critical of most governments. I don't in either case consider development a rejection of history more a way of using the experiences of the past to enhance future endeavours. I always think of development in terms of co-operative venture rather than as an imposition.

Now these are my first thoughts - but these are good questions.

Hmmm...

.... I do quite like Blogger, actually but I wish there was a way of having other pages, such as a cast page linked to it without having to have my own domain.

I realised last night that my last post only mentioned my sisters cute points. They do have lots and lots of cute points, I must say. But it didn't mention how they used their superpowers for evil. Which they did.

When they were about 18 months old, they learnt to climb out of their high chairs, carry one between the two of them, and then use it to wreak evil. Like locking their mother out of the house. Or eating my packed lunch before I left for school. In my biped but unsteady days they also used to creep up behind me and whack me in my knee pits...

It occurred to me also that I may be doing The Doctor a disservice by calling him The Doctor. He's at pains to point out that although he is a scientist, and a possessor of a PhD he is not and will never be a clinician. Much more in the Dr Who vein.

When we first met he wowed the socks off me by telling me he was doing a zoology PhD. How was I to know this covered intestinal parasites in fish?

That twin thing...

.... My sisters are twins - hence known as The Evil Twins. Mostly. I can't quite believe they are 25 - I'm enough older than them that I really clearly remember them being born. Evil Twins. Mostly. I can't quite believe they are 25 - I'm enough older than them that I really clearly remember them being born. Plus I remember clearly years of them saying 'Blimey - 25 is old - when we're 25 you'll be SO OLD'.

31.

I never particularly wanted to be a twin - but I'm jealous of their superpowers. I'm still working on mine. When they were very tiny they had their own made up language. When they were five they had chickenpox between them - twin 1 got poorly, and twin 2 got spots. Seriously. And then today I heard that they had each sent birthday cards to each other saying that they looked as good as they did when they were 15.

Which isn't even true.

I finished The Doctors scarf. I think I like knitting.

Darn it...

... been to the docs, and officially I'm ill. I have a virus....

Anyone got any videos I can borrow?

It might just be me...

... but I have to say, I did find it vaguely incongrous and amusing that on seperate occassions in a 8 hour period the same person castigated me for not having seen 'Fight Club' or 'The Lion King'.

For the record I'd lean more towards 'Fight Club' - but haven't seen it. I might do, I guess. I don't really like violent films though - and isn't 'Fight Club' just about boys being boys?

Has anyone...

... seen my brain? I definitely had it a week or two ago.

Sometimes, it seems, I just feel ill. It seems to be directly related to episodes of my whizzing about like a blue posteriored insect, and usually means I have an upset stomach, get very cold, woozy headed and ache a lot.

While we are talking about aching, a pox on all the doc's I've seen over the years to whom I've mentioned acheyness (yes its a word) who have suggested that 'people like me' don't experience pain. What they mean is that it might not be associated with the disease affecting my muscles. It mightn't. But phrases like that don't make an uncomfortably achey woman happy.

So I felt dreadful most of last week - tried to do normal sorts of things on two days, felt ill again and then had my flu jab. Which even on the best of days is not a highlight of my year.

I really hate being ill, particularly non-specific achy kind of ill, particularly when you realise too late you should have slowed up completely for a while rather than try to go back to work. I also end up watching too much TV. I actually like watching TV, and probably watch a fair bit (while pursuing some sort of crafty activity) but I never watch it aimlessly, I always want to watch whatever is on. But when I am ill, particularly when my arms are uncomfortable, and consequently crafty stuff is out the window, I end up watching any old rubbish, and browsing websites which are the online equivalent of 'Trisha'.

I don't watch 'Trisha', obviously. No matter how ill I get.

And then I get woolly headed some more, and start to fret and feel agitated at the state of the world.

Anyway. I still feel dreadful. I do have some ideas for less self-indulgent posts (although I suspect posting in an online diary made available to the world and their non gender specific life partner isn't exactly self indulgence free) - so please bear with me.

I'm usually a pretty positive, happy sort of camper. When I was online dating, or searching for The Doctor, as I like to put it, there were only five things I was open about not liking (after civil war, poverty, capital punishment and so on)

In no particular order;

Celery
The colour orange
Jim Carrey (except in The Truman Show and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
Eddie Murphy (except in Bowfinger)
Liquorice

So apart from those things, I'm a nice person really.

Ooh...

...this might help!

Thanks Daisy - found on your site.

Too much...

.. what with the idiot getting back in 'over there' and my body giving up on me (cold, and so achey) I'm a bit short of good ideas. Suggestions welcome and I'm sure I'll get my groove back in a few days...

Pick an issue, any issue...

...in last week's Big Issue, George Monbiot suggested that the way to create permanent change in society was for all concerned to pick an issue and focus on that.

Its quite a different approach to that which I've always aimed for - which is basically doing a bit towards all my principles. I do find they are occassionally conflicting - in particular in the area of economics which I find unutterably confusing.

I don't actually know which of my concerns is actually of most concern. By day obviously I work on disability. Probably my biggest concern is war - I'm an out and out pacifist. And of course the direct consequence of war is poverty - so that too. And obviously - I could go on and on. Plus they all feed into each other and I don't know how you'd focus on one issue only.

I'm trying to put together a post on economic injustice and I'm struggling. But to me that's a good example of how many issues combine to disastrous effect. So which issue to start with - and is this the right thing to do?

Its started...

...and I'm a bit scared Vote USA 2004

WDM: Vote for Trade Justice 2004

... Ethical Kenyan PA told me about this -WDM: Vote for Trade Justice 2004 which strikes me as a darn fine idea.

Just wanted to let you know.

Bodies beautiful...

..Its been suggested by those close to me that I watch too much TV. Clearly this is something his Doctoriness is wrong about, but there you go. Had to happen sooner or later.

However, my Will and Grace - a - thons are losing their glow when every cotton pickin' minute there's a trail for either 'Extreme Makeovers' or 'The Swan'. I'm not linking to either - don't want to put you through it. Suffice to say, they are makeover shows in which the makeover includes plastic surgery.

I don't even know where to start with this. How is it right to encourage people to mutilate their bodies? I watched the beginning of 'Extreme Makeovers' once and saw this poor woman who needed a makeover - in her view - because of her teeth and skin - which as she said, were dreadful as she didn't eat properly or go to the dentist for 20 years while she was caring for her disabled husband and couldn't afford it. How is a load of plastic surgery going to solve that?

Why do we hate our bodies so much? Is it as simple as the images in the media? Or is it the pull of instant gratification which people would rather opt for rather than, you know, eating a bit of veg, and walking occasionally? In The Swan they actually compete with each other. I could cry.

I'm not entirely happy with my body - the enormous scar when my nearly cancerous thyroid was taken out I could do without, and being able to move just a bit would be fab. I could do with being a bit slimmer, and I'm not keen on all this chin hair I've acquired since turning 30, pesky hormones. I'm even doing something about that. I do wear nice clothes (I hope) and get through gallons of the Body Shop glossing shampoo to make the barnet better.

I don't know how to make people feel happier with their bodies, but I don't think plastic surgery makes them happier. I do know though that programmes like these are not right. Not sure if banning them is the answer, but how can the demand be reduced?

Scary scary people...

... and I'm not just talking about the 17 year olds who tried trick or treating round here last year. John Sulston, who is quoted in the Sunday Times saying that disabled people should not have children if they have a condition which is heritable. I can't link to the article, as that newspaper doesn't allow you to - but a quick search anytime before next Sunday will find it.

This joker, who until about five minutes ago The Doctor held in high esteem, goes on to say;

...."I would say if we can select children who are not going
to be severely disadvantaged then we should do so but I think it has to be
done by voluntary choice....."If we can alleviate suffering by any means, that is a
good thing. This is one area where we can do so. I would like to do that but
it has to be a matter of choice by the parent."...

Well thanks for giving me the choice not to hate myself so much I don't want to be recreated in my children.

Its a reasonable article - with two articulate voices against. I don't normally read that paper, but was sent it and was also frustrated that the article was inspired by the fact John Sulston is going to be interviewed on BBC4, and espouses these views there.

So depressing. Have sent out for chocolate.

Grrr....

OK, can't fix blog. Problem seems to be that IE thinks that the posts are wider than they are. Sidebar is present, but at the bottom of the page. Plus where the bugger is my footer gone?

Help - anyone?

Oh it displays fine in Mozilla firefox. Link here in case anyone wants it.

Aha!

Sorry about not being able to see the right hand side of the window - the problem is that its all slid down probably because my post with the top ten was a bit too wide. Will fix it - give me 15 mins and all should be OK again.....

Thanks for letting me know!

Look what more I found...

While pottering through Zinnia's links one lunchtime I discovered 360 Degrees of Sky - Life in Rural Zambia which is fantastic! lots of different posts each day and really fascinating anecdotes about her life.

BigBarn....

I found this site via the Guardian newsblog and its great! Really handy - loads of ethical shops around Birdyville - so I'll be shopping happily and healthily soon. Fantastic!

Its got a link showing what's seasonal which for a town girl like me is rather handy. And then recipes for each - fantastic! Although I suspect turnip dauphinoise will never get made....

What happened to you then...

... is my least favourite question to have to deal with. I used to think that it was my 'duty' to tell anyone who asked all the details of my disability - that that was a way of building bridges between disabled and non disabled people. And by anyone who asked, I'm including people who stopped me in the street, people helping me in shops, and people using it as a conversational starter at parties. So I'd tell them, and as people don't tend to acquire serious physical disabilities by being sprinkled with magic sparkles the person would then get upset. I'd love to know what they expected me to say. Hang on - I've just realised - they expected me to say I was just this minute about to get better...

Its quite a difficult stance to maintain - quite wearing and it was soon apparent to me that it wasn't working- that in fact talking about my disability - which most people don't seem to realise is the same as asking about your medical history. Which in most people's cases involves one or two things best saved for closer friends.

So these days I tend to avoid the issue. I do try not to deliberately put people down or insult them in doing so, and if the above question is asked I simply go for 'nothing, I'm fine' - which actually isn't that far from the truth! To help with that, I'm pleased that Ouch has come up with a definitive list of alternatives

1."I angered a magician."
2."I could be able-bodied, but I'm just way too lazy."
3."My father is also my brother."
4."I was born and raised in a laboratory by an evil genetic scientist."
5."This is what happens if you spend too much time on your Playstation."
6."I was trying to get a kitten down from a tree."
7."Sir, you insult me - but thank you for paying attention to me, it means so much."
8."Actually there is nothing wrong with me, I'm one of a new emerging species."
9."I was a contestant on Cheggers Plays Pop and bounced too high on the inflatable."
10."I was Glenn Hoddle in a former life." (Yes, it is still funny - Ed)


I can't wait to use the first one. I love the Ouch! website. It absolutely makes me howl with mirth.

Nooooo...........

MediaGuardian.co.uk | Media | John Peel dies aged 65

That's really really sad. He always seemed like such a lovely man - and really quite young.

His poor family.

Games again...

The Doctor claims I have misrepresented him in my previous post and that he does in fact play car games with me. I told him I only make corrections via comments..... if he comes on - make him welcome!

Comedic days...

Undoubtedly, some days are funnier than others. I like it that way - it puts a big smile on my face.

We knew it was going to be one of 'those' days when The Doctor went over to Waitrose at 9.30am to buy some food and so on for our friend T who was coming home from holiday today. This would have been a more successful strategy I'd imagine if it wasn't the fact that Waitrose in Birdyville doesn't open til 10 on a Sunday.... So The Doctor went back at 10 (meaning we were late leaving to go and see our friends The Doctors) and rushed the bits and bobs over to T's house. Meeting T on the way. The element of surprise wasn't quite there, although T was really pleased.....

We set off about 45 minutes late - but made good time and for the first time ever actually arrived early. One area in which The Doc and I differ is in the playing of car games. I love a good car game - and particular specialities being Unholy Alliances (e.g. what would happen if you crossed Missy Elliott with REM) and Inappropriate Cover Versions (e.g.what would a cover of 'My Heart Will Go On' sound like if undertaken by ZZ Top) so I was quite surprised he agreed to a discussion on Desert Island Discs.Which petered out rather when he asked if he could have Emilia Fox as his luxury....

So we arrived early, and in order to prepare our friends for the shock The Doctor went round to tell them we were here and to find out where to park, leaving me in the car. The posh new car with remote locking and an alarm. And a red flashing light inside demonstrating when the alarm is set. Which when I leant towards it, meant the alarm went off, which meant I had to sit there like a wally with the alarm going off til he got back....

MP expenses.....

Call me naive - you won't be the first, but I was gobsmacked over this story - not just because of the amounts involved - which are quite frightening, but then its an important job - but because they are being given such huge amounts of money for those MP's who have to maintain a home in their constituency. Well surely, if its their constituency, its their home? Is it so that people are MP's for an area in which they are not emotionally invested? Or don't have any strong links with? I guess it is true and I've been in denial all this time.

Oh well. I've always fancied a trip to Egypt.

(Denial. Geddit? Say it out loud. No? Well I never said I was funny...)

Pass it on...

Our Man in Hanoi needs our help.

Inside I'm still furious...

...Lisy Babe has been brave enough to see the film - and writes about it here (please scroll down...)Lisy Babe's Blog

Grrr...

... so I was meant to be going to London to a half day course on e learning in two weeks time. I've known about the course for three weeks, which is how long its taken me to find out whether or not the venue had access. As soon as I knew about the course, I let the organisers know I needed access and was interested, and yet today, when I finally enrolled, they told me there were no places left. Also, that the fact I needed to bring my PA apparently caused them problems with the room.

Seething? I think so. After all, surely the course organisers should have known about the access when I first got in touch, and I couldn't have booked before knowing about it. Plus on occasion, people need to bring PA's. Now I don't even want to go on the course - but I'm going to write a stern letter none the less.

When I started this blog I wasn't absolutely sure I wanted to talk about my disability - after all its an inescapable fact off line and I did think about not mentioning it - but I decided I wouldn't be true to myself, or able to think of enough to write about. This course was not a disability course and of course, wasn't organised to include disabled people. Periodically I review whether or not working in disability is the right thing to do - and I remember that when you have a significant disability you always end up working in disability - whether you want to or not.
It took a lot of Waitrose caramelised onion and feta pizza to get me in a good mood tonight....

Rolex...

... is the new viagra, apparently. I have got SO much rolex spam today - its taken over from pills. I use 'block sender' but I'm not convinced it makes any difference....

I've been wanting to blog about the desecration of Mrs Hammonds grave for a few days and not really managed to find the words - and the lovely Rhea has beaten me to it in an excellent post.

I never buy animal tested toiletries, house cleaners or OTC medication, even though I'm less of a vegetarian than I used to be, and try to lead a compassionate life. But this is outrageous.

The Breast Cancer Site : Fund Mammograms for Free

Not a lot of time to post today - but thought I'd pass this

The Breast Cancer Site : Fund Mammograms for Free

along. Not entirely sure whether these work, but sometimes its worth going for it on the off chance.

Love is...

..Love is a verb. One demonstrating one's love through one's actions. And a person can only feel loved when someone else shows their love with kisses, hugs, caresses and gifts. A lover will always promote the physical and emotional well-being of the person he loves.

quote from 'Swift as Desire' by Laura Esquivel - took a bit of getting into, but I like it now.

Thoughts for the day..

...I started listening to Radio 2 when I got engaged and realised I no longer needed to even try to be a trendy young thing. I do think its a great way to start the day, and really enjoy the 'Thought for the Day'.This is two minutes at about 9.15am where a celebrant/cleric of a range of traditions/faiths speaks briefly about a relevant issue based in their own tradition. I'm always really moved by it, even though I have frustrations with a lot of organised religion.

Today was a RC priest talking about the upcoming US elections. He was talking about the problem the Republicans have separating church and state, and how some Republicans are suggesting that voting Democrat is a sin because of their position on abortion and gay marriage. The priest made an excellent point which was that while those things may be against Christian teaching (yes pop pickers he actually said 'may') going to war, and sanctioning capital punishment undoubtedly are.

The other great thing about these little 'thoughts' is that all the clerics/celebrants involved are all tolerant of each other and each others views. Its a top way to start the day!

Feminism...

isn't often linked with enjoyment - but the do a nice job of it here. (via bookslut) I really like Beatrix Campbell and want to read more of her stuff. I saw her speak once about young men who are in situations of poverty (in the UK) and how feminism helps all involved. It was amazing.

The idea of a shorter working week being good for all is a great one. I wish it would catch on. I work half time - and from time to time I wish I did a few more hours, and we'll never be rich (but we do fine) and I love being able to be at home to make holiday cards, interesting veggie pate with tahini and so on! Balance is the key.

Fathers rights...

... I watched a documentary last night about fathers rights, and its certainly stayed with me since. I was really hoping that someone else would start the ball rolling, but so far I've not seen anything about it on any blogs.

I think that on balance Bob Geldof is a good bloke, and that this documentary, as with most, is biased. I'm an unashamed feminist and believe that many laws favour men over women (not all) and really know little about family law. The programme did make me believe though that there was something wrong with this system though. But what struck me most is that some of the adults involved - of both genders - feel having their own way is more important than being a parent. Parents shouldn't be doormats - but surely there's a shift in focus when the child is young? I'm not a parent - nor particularly likely to be one so I may be speaking out of turn. I'm mostly just musing - and interested in others views.

You lovely people you...

...over 2000 visits! I'm so chuffed! I remember getting 25 visitors and thinking it was like Christmas.

This is my 148th post, and I'd assumed my 200th visit and my 150th posts would coincide and I'd post something especially insightful.

Sorry.

So I checked my recommendations...

... and they are fine. Phew. Amazon must be used to editing out the 'books bought for fathers in law' choices. However, I'd rather not have known about this four pack of Janet Evanovich books which is slightly cheaper than buying them individually. Still, I got the fourth in the series in the local Oxfam bookshop today - so pleased about that.

It was £4 - so a bit cheaper than having bought it in Waterstones down the road, but barely cheaper than getting it from Amazon. Which suits me fine - I get to give money to charity, and I get to take a book home. Result. I get really fed up with people complaining that stuff which isn't tat, and is reusable isn't jumble sale prices in charity shops. Why should it be? Isn't a charity shop a better place to break the £2.75 stranglehold than another shop? Won't you get just as much use out of the item? And I'm talking about prices which are considerably less than in the main shops.

I'm logical about my dislike of complaints about prices, and of course I'm right *big wink* The other irritation I have is with people who buy cheaply from charity shops and then sell things on for lots of money. I don't quite know why this bugs me so much but I'm sure its Not Quite Right.

Wimbledon..

...the film that is.... I went to see it this afternoon with Lovely Local PA - I'm a big fan of the girlie rom-com genre. My synapses weren't over busy, but I was very entertained.

At the end of the film - and I'm sure I'm not giving too much away - the hero wins Wimbledon. Now I'm renowned for not seeing the point of sport - in particular organised sport. I don't have any strong feelings for banning it or anything, it just doesn't interest me. It interests others - fine - just not me. I was amazed around the time of the World Cup that even others who never watch football were scolding me for not having watched it.

However - at the end of the film when the hero was winning Wimbledon I was on the edge of my seat with anticipation - even though I knew exactly how the film would end - before I even went to the film. I think it was because the hero was a Nice Young Man and soI was rooting for him. I began to almost understand the way that people feel about football.

Belief-O-Matic -- A personality quiz about your religious beliefs and spiritual beliefs - a quiz answering What Religion Am I -- Beliefnet.com

I've seen this before and think its pretty interesting - and a good use of 5 minutes Belief-O-Matic -- A personality quiz about your religious beliefs and spiritual beliefs - a quiz answering What Religion Am I -- Beliefnet.com

Apparently I'm either;

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (99%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (97%)

Maybe I'll blog about spirituality - it would be a significant step towards exposing my darkest thoughts and I'm not sure even the Internet is ready for that...

Random Acts of Kindness... 2

So Friday wasn't a particularly thoughtful day - but since then I have wrapped a pressie for The Doctor which he forgot about, and taken a load of old (read, rather than old) magazines to the doctors surgery for the waiting room.

Does that count?

Repair and conquer...

So I ran over the sucky end of the vacuum cleaner - and it hasn't been the same since. Who knew a large powered wheelchair with two 80 watt batteries and a fully grown adult could do so much damage?

I finally managed to track down a new sucky end (its the correct definition) and some new bags in an actual repair shop. Something pretty hard to find here in Birdyville.

New sucky thing - £25
New bags - £5

However -

Vacuum cleaner - new - £25

I guess I wouldn't have been able to get such a cheap one again, and repairing it is the right thing to do - but its easy to see why people discard rather than repair.

Can I introduce you to...

... Anan from '....and then there was the time...' ? She just e mailed me with a list of excellent things you could do when in the pursuit of The Right Thing.

This is one of my favourites -

'`Eliminate the words, “i told you so”, “nonsense”, and “some people....” from your vocabulary. Replace them with silence. Foolishness is obvious; it doesn’t need to be advertised.'

and one I try to practice.

Not really a winner...

So its The Doctors father's birthday on Monday - and I eagerly volunteered to get the book required as it meant I could justifiedly pick up two more of the Janet Evanovich Stephanie Plum novels - so I can have the whole set by Christmas.

Despite this, I have to say though I am really worried about what this book is going to do to my Amazon recommendations.....

The whole worlds upside down...

... Lovely Local PA is back in circulation after her most recent jaunt - and we celebrated in traditional style - shopping and lunch. I live in an ancient University town - the sort of place where you tell other wheelchair users and they immediately start to take the piss. I really like living here, and accept that some access 'challenges' come with the uneven and oft cobbled territory.

So a new branch of NoaNoa has opened, complete with enormous step. I am in love with this cardigan, which I am utterly convinced is the answer to, quite frankly, everything. So Lovely Local PA goes in to ask about catalogues and websites, and to point out that enormous steps are incompatible with wheelchair access. Lovely Local PA is good at this - she's been my PA for some time now, and is a feisty sort of bird.

I can't tell you how funny it is then, that the shop manager was positively insulted that we'd asked, as OF COURSE there was a ramp which they would put out for us. Didn't we know that there was a law mandating access?

I'm going to buy a whole outfit, and laugh a lot. For a while.

Look what else I found...

... there's a yahoogroup for bloggers! And they seem to be having a party!

I might be too scared to go though....

Look what I found...

...while having lunch in ASK with Feisty Neighbour (fusilli con gorgonzola - yum yum yum) I heard there is a website/movement/book - 'We are what we do'. Its a great little site with loads of cheap and cheerful ideas for making a difference. I particularly like this - the count of actions for a quality life - a good way of checking in to see how we're doing.

Today - or currently - I've done 19. Could do better Ms Chirp.

The only joke I ever remember...

.... The Dalai Lama goes to buy a hotdog. He approaches the vendor, and the vendor asks him what he would like. 'Ah my child', says the Dalai Lama, 'Make me one with everything'.

So the hot dog vendor piles on the onions, pickles and sauce and hands it to the Dalai Lama who gives him a $20 bill. The Dalai Lama looks optimistically at the vendor as he is expecting some money in return.

'Ah' says the hot dog vendor, 'Change must come from within'

(Actually that's not the only joke I know, there's another, but it's an aural joke. Plus, as it starts 'Three men of irrelevant ethnic origin are being held captive by Saddam Hussain' - it may also be out of date)

Random Acts of Kindness...

... well its now two months since I read Join Me and Soliloquist has reminded me about Random Acts of Kindness. The thrust of the books (and websites) philosophy is that you a) Join Danny Wallace and b) carry out a Random Act of Kindness each Friday.

I quite like joining things, and certainly Join Me seems to be mostly motivated by the fact that Acts of Kindness are a Good Thing, and that sometimes in this world its easy to forget to be nice to another person for no reason. I haven't joined yet, partly because Danny Wallace is a bit dishy, and passport photos of me are dreadful, and partly because I wasn't quite sure I was up to the regular acts of selflessness.

After reading the book I did OK for the first two Fridays - paying the excess postage on someones parcel, and buying cakes for the whole office. But now I keep forgetting - I do occassionally do a nice thing on another day, on a purely recreational basis.

So do I join - would that help me remember? I like the idea of being part of a big movement for good in the world - even if its origins were an experiment in its leaders mind. Seems sad it has to come to this though.

I beseech thee...

if you have a butternut squash about your home, grab it, chop it into relatively small pieces, drizzle it with olive oil, and whack it in the oven at about 200 degrees for about 30 minutes. Feel free to dance about outside the oven with anticipation while it cooks - it certainly improved my enjoyment of the dish. Then while its still hot, toss it with some balsamic vinegar and sprinkle it with feta, give it a mix, and eat standing over the dish.

Just the yummiest thing.

Anyone else ever feel....

that the comments section is more entertaining than the blog itself?

I'm not even sure I mind.

The DDA...

... Disability Discrimination Act is now fully implemented in terms of accessing goods and services.

From today, all buildings from which services to the public are delivered should be accessible to disabled people, a thought that would make me jump for joy if I believed that for one moment it had actually happened.

I live in an old cobbly city which is never going to be 100% accessible, and that I'm happy with. There does need to be a balance between maintaining history and accommodating use. But in general, it isn't the historical buildings that present the problems - but those where no thought has gone into their design. Only a fairly small amount of consideration is required to make a building accessible, but if it isn't given, then the consequences are bad news.

I went shopping this afternoon to test out the access, and still couldn't get into the usual places. And the parking is being gradually eroded - before the implementation of accessible buses, of course.

Its a great day for disabled people - for all people, in fact. I just wish that it was seen as a benefit rather than a burden to all people - just like when the legislation first came on stream - the media is not entirely on board.

Bloggers are though - I think that means we have our priorities right.

Stephen Fry...

... walked past me earlier on today.

I was in the van, so didn't have a chance to do my usual routine of lurking around trying to think of something witty and insightful to say, then not thinking of anything and skulking off. The poor man looked flustered anyway - and probably didn't need to meet me today. Perhaps I should try to have a witticism in hand for all such similar situations. He was gratifyingly large in stature; I'm still surprised at the size of Clive Anderson...

Hoorah!

Eliza is back blogging at Fembat Org :: Journal - her writing is both moving and insightful and thanks Lynn for letting us know. I've really missed her.

Inside I'm furious....

I don't believe in censorship, but I do believe in boycotts, and I'm asking you all very nicely not to go and see 'Inside I'm Dancing'. It may show a realistic impression of independent living (although I doubt it, as the director/writer knows very little about disability) but neither of the two main disabled characters are actually played by disabled people. I wish I could find the statistics for adults with CP and MD (the impairments in question) but I simply cannot believe (as claimed by the director/producer/writer) that there were NO youngish men with the impairments in question who could have played the role. Or someone else with another similar disability. To me, with the numbers of disabled actors out of work, using non-disabled actors for these roles is criminal, and equivalent to white actors 'blacking up' to play roles which are for black people. I wish I knew who to write to to complain and welcome all ideas....

Motorcycle Diaries...

Aftermuch rearranging, a fair bit of sitting collapsed in the lounge and refusing to go out, and a very very long first day back at work we finally got to see 'The Motorcycle Diaries'. I freely admit to not knowing an awful lot about Che Guevara and I was pleased to know a bit more. The cinematography was amazing, and two and a half hours of gazing at Gael Garcia Bernal is no great hardship. I had expected it to be more worthy, and less funny.

The Doctor is a perceptive chap, its one of my favourite things about him. His main observation about the film, once he'd commented on the climb inspiring nature of the scenery was that the film doesn't really focus that much on the social injustice Guevara observed on the trip. The disparity of wealth was certainly shown, and it certainly moved me, but it requires a leap of faith on the part of the viewer to see how Guevara got from an existing interest in human welfare to the all encompassing desire to change things which took over the rest of his life. The scenarios shown were ones which were familiar to me - tales of displacement, poverty and racisim - tales which are true all over the world at present. And it isn't clear why Guevara did what he did. Just seeing the fictionalised situations made me feel desperate about the lives some are forced to lead, but other than an urge to learn more about South America I don't feel inspired to give up my entire life and campaign for change. Would a radical espousal of western values and lifestyle help? What would I even start to write to my MP about?

So I'll contiue to do the best I can to do the right thing, even when it isn't the easiest thing. I'll make sure I watch the next film on Che Guevara (and encourage others to do so) I sometimes think the world has gone so far the wrong way there's no going back.

Books etc...

Having loved 'The Last Family in England', told from the perspective of the family dog, (anthropomorphising animals be dashed, its a great book) I'm now reading 'The Collector Collector' - by Tibor Fischer the funniest author ever and told from the perspective of a piece of pottery. Yes really. I read 'The Thought Gang' also by a few years ago and loved every page. Definitely on my best ever list. It isn't, in my frankly ill researched opinion the best constructed book, but is the book I've quoted most from after 'The Curious Incident'. Very, very funny.

On my time off I also read 'The Innocents' - Ian McEwan. Not for the faint of stomach. Have decided to give up WW2 books for the next twelve months (from the end of October as we're doing ANOTHER WW2 book for book group), and instead take up novels about South America. All suggestions welcome!

Buses...

Where, pray has this week got to? I thought I'd only just posted, and I check today and its been six days! What happened there?

So I went to London on Tuesday, and I Travelled By Public Transport. Yes really. I had planned this trip specifically to learn how to use buses - I'd heard they were accessible (tho' not quite believed it) and decided to get my head round it. The day before, I logged onto this site (thank you Ken) and sorted out my route. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I arranged a wheelchair accessible trip without contacting a specialist travel organisation.

And it worked. The train company provided reamps on and off and the hardest part of the whole experience was finding the bus stop at Kings Cross. Admittedly, the wheelchair space being halfway down the bus meant a certain degree of assertion was required to be sure that the ramp was used at the right stop. For assertion - read hollering. Fortunately the whole bus joined in.

So after the excitement of the bus the British Museum and an amazing Indian restaurant called Mela were not quite as big a deal. And that was one cool mummy and I refuse now to go to any Indian restaurant not serving tandoori pineapple. Beyond yummy.

I'm not sure how well I can explain how exciting it is to use public transport. I use the bus here now and again (now and again because there is only one route here with wheelchair access), but there is still a thrill when I'm travelling with everyone else. I live fairly close to London, but heading down there always seemed like such a trial, not to mention so expensive when travelling by taxi. But now - I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Super Size Me..

.. is a great film. I really enjoyed it - I'm not sure I learnt a lot from it, but it was good to know my suspicions were founded. I am so not a fan of chain restaurants, which perhaps makes me a snob. Still a fan of burgers though - in particular the veggie burger from our local Greek takeaway is heavenly.

I happened across this site - the McD*$%^lds rebuttal site while poddling about online today. Interesting use of the word 'debate'....

Oh good...

... idiot Tony has put Alan Milburn in charge of sorting out Incapacity Benefit. That'll make the world a better place.

Maybe there are too many people on Incapacity Benefit. Certainly there are too many disabled people who would like to be in the workforce but who currently aren't. About one million, in fact according to that article.

There are many reasons for that - for some, their impairment means they cannot work. But for many the reasons are a result of prejudice and cutting the budget for IB is not going to solve that. Putting into place good educational opportunities, accessible housing, timely healthcare and effective home support with practical tasks might. Which would then increase the revenue to the UK of that million disabled people who want to work but can't.

And would be cheaper than screwing up Iraq.

Belle du Jour...

...has hung up her suspenders and is blogging no more as her book is imminent. I know her blog has been criticised - if indeed it is a her - but her stopping does rather make me think her blog was more a means to an end rather than an act in itself - and for some reason that really bugs me.

Knowing thyself...

So to kick off my (nearly) two weeks of annual leave I had the joy of a blood test. You'd imagine, probably that as the proud owner of a range of tempting medical problems I'd be used to this by now, but it will never be a prospect I relish.

So I pole up to the hospital clutching my form and arrive at phlebotomy. Its obvious to the most casually medically trained observer that I am not the easiest person to take blood from, being as I can't move, and I'm sure I can see the phlebotomists playing paper scissors stone in the background. Eventually I get called in. I smile encouragingly at the Nice Young Man and tell him that the best (avoiding the use of the loaded word 'only') way to get blood out of me is to plunge my hands into hot water and take the blood from the back of my hands. My positive smile fades when the Nice Young Man asks if he can see my elbows - the usual site for blood tests. I usually say yes to this, but this time I'd had enough. I said no, that I hadn't had blood taken from my elbows for several years, (more than five) and

that really it had to be the back of my hands.

A few minutes later, I had my hands in a sink full of hot water and then I go back to have my blood test. It works perfectly first time.

'Goodness', says the Nice Young Man. 'You really do know what you are talking about,'

Now naturally I was irritated by that. I have three serious well defined medical conditions (all very well managed) and clearly am no stranger to hospitals. Surely I'm going to know the best way to manage routine medical tasks? I left the hospital thinking in part that the Nice Young Man needs further training (and he was a Nice Young Man, very well meaning) but then wondering whether enough disabled people do take responsibility for their own medical needs? Do doctors - some doctors - over bearing manners mean that people lose faith in their own bodies to such a degree that they don't pass on information? I have to admit that there are times when my body drives me (and pleasingly, occasionally drives others ;) ) to distraction but surely you can't expect everyone you meet to instinctively know the best way of doing everything for you and sometimes you have to take responsibility? I don't know what the answer is, and its not as simple as blaming one over the other. Working together seems like a sensible option.

Today is...

The Doctor's birthday! He's officially 30 this year despite being born in 1973 as this time last year we had to hare up to Scotland suddenly to see my very poorly granddad.

He's extraordinarily hard to buy for, so I bought him this. So far, he's most enthusiastic.

Knitting

While progress is good, and the scarf will be completed, I sometimes think that untangling the wool is more fun than the actual knitting.

Oh, I'm bad..

Fear and foxes..

Sometimes, pathetically, I don't do the right thing because I worry that the comeback will be a problem. I realise this makes me a wimp of the worst possible kind. I've had a few rants ready on emotive subjects like animal testing, rights to life and so on and resisted as I understand the volume of spam you can receive afterwards can be outrageous, and I worry that this can dilute the message. It occurred to me in the shower this morning that actually, the opposite is probably true.

So it seems that with a UK election now under discussion Big Tone is now back to thinking about fox hunting. Predictable in that it was the subject that encouraged lots of people to vote for him, and presumably he's going to ban it just to keep those people on board for the next election.

I'm definitely not a fan of fox hunting. I don't believe its a boon to the rural economy, I do think its cruel and that a country's actions do reflect on its moral views. However, how can he possibly justify thinking that this is the most important focus for the government's attention at present? Yes he should have fulfilled on his election promises, which I'm ashamed to say I can't remember, but surely at present any spare energy should be put into either putting Iraq back together now he and Georgie boy have had their fun, or sorting out any of the myriad social problems in the UK. It occurred to me that in Britain fox hunting is probably an election deal breaker - which having spent 10 minutes trying to think of a witty and erudite phrase - Simply Does My Head In.

Week 2...

of our reading of Henry IVth part one and the funny bits have me quite tickled.

Read the part with the Sheriff - which should always be read with a Texas accent, I feel.

Too tired to be terribly witty and erudite, however did make fantastic butternut soup today - my top tip - add a little orange juice to the saute-ing onions and blend it for ages. Yummy!

I'm oh so tired.....

but I've actually had a lovely day. A whole day off planning my weeks off I have coming up. I was a bit of a wuss at first and objecting that The Doctor wasn't going to be off as well. But actually it will be lovely and relaxing and I can get on with hobby type stuff like knitting, blogging and making my Christmas cards.

I'm not normally into Christmas too early, or even Christmas for that matter, other than as a reason to get together with loved ones, and generally be glad to be alive. I like the excuse of being able to have a big craft project on. This year - I think I will be embroidering - or buying them in a very bad mood.

All better now..

The bright blue is gone. I'm quite chuffed with this layout.

Hiding from the telephone..

I like to think of myself as reasonably well socialised but I do really hate using the telephone - I think its because I worry about making an idiot of myself - a frequent pasttime - and not having any record of whatever I said.

I usually manage to do all my transactions online or face to face but have reached the point where I must grab the whatchamacallit by the whatsit and make two calls for work. To people who are eminently reasonable but just hard to meet up with/email for good reason.

Email is the one for me. You can write them when you feel like it, read them when you feel like it, there's no having to be polite when you really need the loo issue. You are never taken by surprise (or rarely, at least) and you can be sure you are saying what you want to. Plus if you are me you usually have your diary to hand when you need to. All in all a much more satisfactory arrangement. I met The Doctor online and we got to know each other solely via email - although did meet eventually (after a month). One of my sisters did wonder whether those indulging in online dating did meet at all... Much better than previous telephone based dating disasters.

I do like talking though - more to some than others. Its just that pesky telephone gets in the way.

Gaaahhh!!

Bright blue NOT part of the carefully considered plan. Hopefully I can make it go away now!

Template updated..

.. and hopefully easier all round. Feedback welcome.

Also seem to have lost my footer which is annoying. Must have put it down somewhere, no doubt it will rematerialise as soon as I make a new one...

The Doctor has just bought a new black car. (New to us, rather than new new) May have to rename him Dr KnightRider he's so excited.

I T T I A

So I'm reading the Big Issue and come accross this new magazine from A John Bird I T T I A. ITTIA stands for I ThinK Therefore I Act - which is certainly a good principle. A lot of what the site says makes good sense - and I'm all for trying to get people to think. I'm not sure I would have chosen the phrase 'making thinking sexy' though - or accompanied it with a picture of a scantily clad woman. The site does contain some good info though - and I'm certainly planning on keeping an eye on it. But really - slightly naked women? Surely something more original, and less offensive to all concerned than that would have been better?

Doing the wrong thing

I managed to make a bit of an idiot of myself when I went to see the Titan Arum on Friday. Now I often make a bit of an idiot of myself, so this is not in itself news. But I am still annoyed about this one.

As I wandered back through the gardens to the Batmobile, I noticed a family with beautiful children, running about generally looking cute and beautiful. One of them, a little girl, had achondroplasia, a genetic disability in which, among other things, arms and legs do not grow to the same scale as the head and torso, so the person ends up very short. And because this was such a cute happy little girl I looked at her a bit too long, because I was thinking I hope she always looks like that, and isn't put through pointless surgery to make her into a normal, as can be done.

Unfortunately her mother saw me staring, and justifiably glowered at me. I'm sure she couldn't imagine I was staring at her daughter for any reason other than voyeurism, just as I would never imagine anyone was staring at me for any other reason than crip inquisitivity (its a word)

Which is sad.

Normal service...

...will be resumed shortly. Redecoration is under way. I'll get everything ticketty-boo as soon as possible - including making the fonts a touch bigger.

Surreality continues...

as I've spent today in a glass house seeing an enormous stinking flower. Was very cool, actually, may be one of those once in a life time achievements. It was also closing by the time I got there - so less pungent than it might have been. Which was a relief. I know very very little about plants - although I have a house full of them as I think they look nice (and I love cut flowers). I think I'll feel like a proper grown up when I eventually get my head around them!

Almost forgot...

I'm an occassional Waitrose shopper as bizarrely its my nearest accessible shop -a dreadful place to go for a pint of milk - too much temptation. Plus on balance I think they are reasonably ethical. However, I was most amazed last night to see they offered slicing tomatoes - at only 3 times the price of ordinary tomatoes.

Perhaps that's where I'd been going wrong all this time - trying to slice tomatoes not destined for that fate...

Strange goings on

So this week has been a slightly eccentric one so far, and its only Thursday. Many things have happened which have made me howl with mirth - including finding a skeleton in a library and being asked - sincerely - how a mule might be used to assist disabled students/visitors.

Apparently, according to The Doctor its quite common for undergraduate libraries to have a skeleton in them; and it isn't necessarily the remains of an over zealous post doc. They are used by undergraduate medical students. Booking out an arm from a library does still make me smile.

The mule, thankfully is a little tractor kind of things and as such an excellent way of avoiding the gravel abundant in some of the historical parts of this University. And not, thankfully a device rewarded by carrots.

And tonight I'm getting together with friends to read Henry IVth -which I have yet to read. Its all my fault - I suggested reading 'The Last Family in England' by Matt Haig to my book group - as the book is told from the perspective of the family dog - and it then turned out to be based on Henry IVth. I like Shakespeare - but I wouldn't say I understood it. All offers of help gratefully recieved...

Now fingers crossed this gets online - I have used the new fangled ''blog this'....

Dull dull dull...

Not sure why I'm not very interesting at present - but in the mean time can I recommend Cyber Satan? Infinitely more interesting...

And yes firefox view(er), I'll be redecorating shortly!

Shopping..

So this Bank Holiday looked like it was going to be a bit of a let down, all told. The Doctor was going walking, and I was going to be home alone. I loaded up the chick flicks and books and bedded down. Fortunately my Best Friend descended and it was marvellous fun in a very boring way to the casual observer! Made amazing brownies though.

So in the tradition of girlie togetherness the world over we went shopping. I decided to try to get hip to the funky groove and tried on a poncho and ended up looking like this.

I don't think its really me.

Bank Holiday -

must be time for DIY. The Doctor mended the table before going away this weekend about which I am very relived, whereas due to the excessive greenness at the end of this blog, looks like I'm going to be doing a bit of redecorating... Still otherwise I think I like firefox.

So I installed firefox...

and everything displays properly except my blog!!

Where oh where has my background gone? I think all the other blogger blogs I read are OK.

Bloody tories..

Stories like this make me spit with rage. I don't know how grown supposedly educated adults can think this way.

I actually have some sympathy with the idea that too many compensation claims are made. If you have an accident, from which you recover, with the help of the NHS, and you still have your job (which you are still able to do) do you really need compensation?

To me its obvious - the way of cutting down claims under the Human Rights Act is perhaps to implement it, to invest this money in ensuring people's rights are met. I know there will always be the odd spurious claim but surely its better to have the odd spurious claim and all our rights protected than others left out?

Is it just me?

Or is it in fact easier to say something nice than something snippy? The adage - 'if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all' wasn't a key part of my childhood, but it does make perfect sense to me. I don't mean you should say nothing in a situation of crisis, but if someone (ie me) suggests she might be knitting scarves for gifts this Christmas, and that same someone (still me) jokes that it wouldn't matter if they were a bit wonky as they'd be handmade, is it not a bit unnecessary for someone (not me) else to then say that they wouldn't want a wonky scarf for Christmas?

Humph.

Darn it...

I didn't realise that posts you'd saved appeared on the date you first started writing them. Had I done, I doubt I'd have spent 3 days on the 'My footprint' post further down the page.

Please. Humour me.

Recipe for perfect prawn thingie

Get home from work. Do dance of joy in kitchen as didn't get stuck in traffic.

Chop onion, garlic, chilli. Get down orange pot. Have brief warm fuzzies at thought of friend who bought said pot.

Remember on diet. Spray pot with oil spray. Agree with Glamorous NZ PA that it smells like hidey beast margarine. Look at bottle to show that it is meant to be olive oil. See it claims to be butter flavoured spray oil. Feel slightly pale.

Saute onions, garlic, and chilli. Try to grate carrots for carrot salad in mixer. Accidentally thinly slice carrot. Add thinly sliced carrot to saute and readjust grating attachment. Grate carrot, mix with sesame oil, lime juice, fresh coriander and garlic. Leave on side and try every five minutes through cooking process.

Add about a teaspoon of ground cinnamon to onions etc, continue to saute. Add tin tomatoes, large squirt tomato puree and a splash of orange juice. Set to simmer.

Pop upstairs for a wee (which being a crip takes a min. of 15 mins). Look for MOT certificate. Find MOT certificate. Do dance of joy that MOT certificate valid for whole week! Remember dinner.

Defrost prawns. Mix prawns and enormous bag of spinach with tomato sauce. Decide to make lime and mint cous cous. Get out cous cous and put in pot with dried mint and exciting bouillon. Feel embarassed about how much you like bouillon. Pour on boiling water.

Tidy kitchen for five minutes. Check cous cous. Realise its nice enough to take food outside so take it all outside. Eat and enjoy praise of Glamorous NZ PA and The Doctor on food.

Go inside and decide to blog about evening so far.

Realise forgot to put lime juice on cous cous...

Work related....

Do I want to start using firefox? My laptop is straining under the weight of what is demanded of it - would firefox help that? Plus and more importantly would it help me get back to being able to run ActiveX controls (which IE is currently refusing to do) without my having to retrain as an MS engineer?

Help!

Oh - obviously firefox would need to be able to run blogger and blackboard, if that makes any difference?

My footprint...

I found this quiz at feministe - its kind of interesting. Its a simple quiz which allows me to work out what sort of environmental disaster I'm brewing up for my friends kids when they go on to inherit the earth.

These were my results;

CATEGORY GLOBAL HECTARES

FOOD 1
MOBILITY 0.6
SHELTER 0.7
GOODS/SERVICES 1

TOTAL FOOTPRINT 3.3

IN COMPARISON, THE AVERAGE ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT IN YOUR COUNTRY IS 5.3 GLOBAL HECTARES PER PERSON.

WORLDWIDE, THERE EXISTS 1.8 BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE GLOBAL HECTARES PER PERSON.

IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE YOU, WE WOULD NEED 1.8 PLANETS.

So I'm doing better than the average Brit, which frankly is depressing. Depressing because I'm not sure there's a lot more I can be doing. More I should be doing, clearly.

I may not have an accurate score, because its hard to know exactly what they are getting at. I don't actually know how many metres squared my house is. Its a fine size - a three bed ex council 50's semi of which there are 1000's around the country - but not massive. I also put that the amount of rubbish I put out is the same as my neighbours, and I just don't know if that's true either - we all have black bins, green bins for compostable rubbish and a black box for non compostable recyclable waste (except tetrapaks and plastic, but I've blogged about that already). I probably could do more to reuse things - I do the basics - reusable stuff to charity shops, resealable containers to freeze leftover food and I re-use plastic bags. I do have to strike a balance though, particularly as someone else has to re use the stuff for me.

In terms of energy use - we do have long life light bulbs etc and religiously turn things off. Our company is reasonable on sustainable grounds (there may be better). Car use though, is A Bit Tricky. To use the bus, which I love to do, and living as I do on the only accessible bus route here requires a ten minute walk to the Park and Ride, which doesn't leave me much battery to potter properly round town, carrying my shopping on the back. I could get new batteries more frequently - but they are upwards of £450 a time - which is not inconsequential cashwise.

Foodwise I'm confused. I'll blog at more length about food issues, but in short I clicked the answer which was mostly local, and meat occassionally (this being for our house - The Doctor being a committed meat eater) so I'm not sure how we scored so badly - I'd have thought that in the UK that probably that was a reasonably ethical way of being - as most protein sources have to be imported?