Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Righteous Reading.....

I'm reading Michael Moore's 'Dude, Where's my country?' again at the moment - I do love his writing style. I think I like 'Stupid White Men' better - and if anyone knows who has my copy then I definitely want it back.

A US friend sent me this, which made me laugh;

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative talk radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness and treat glaucoma.

4. "Standing Tall for America'" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals, Hillary Clinton and feminists (read non-subserviant women). Women or homosexuals as priests?!? Only straight men can legally talk to Jesus!

7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay. This includes enforcing the "Just Say No" and Kill the Messenger policies when confronted with the Govt's own and increasing news reports detailing deplorable conditions and mismanagement of funds at Veterans' Administration hospitals nationwide.

8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

21. "No Child Left Behind" means allocating all educational resources to ensure children pass a standardized test measuring their ability to perform rote memorization at the cost of eliminating many teachers, textbooks, classroom space, music and art programs, and extra curricular activities.

Feel free to pass these on. If you do, we might be less likely to be stuck with Bush for 4 more years.
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